Dissertation

The thesis, it seems, is the Achilles' heel of many student's writing. I can vouch for that as a mentor, an older brother, and as an editor. While an essay (or speech as this case would have it) can be strong, the thesis is often overlooked and understated, which lends itself to confusion in both the audience and the writer. I think that's an issue worthy of blogging about.

The textbook says that the thesis "summarizes your plan for achieving the specific purpose." So right away we know that there is a definitive difference between purpose and thesis. This definition diverges slightly from the literary definition because in critical literary analysis, the thesis is both your plan and your statement. It's what sets your paper apart from the myriad other dissertations about your topic. It should be original and thought-provoking. What this means to me is that speeches, though structurally similar to analytic writing, should be approached with a more liberal perspective. At first I thought I might disagree with the textbook's definition of thesis, but after giving it more thought I understand that the thesis can still be important without focusing on originality and intellectual-rigor. That those elements should still exist in the speech, but should be relied upon as a medium to conversation and discussion. That's probably how the Ancient Greeks, whose word "thesis" meant study, would have applied it.

After reading through chapter four I completely changed my opinion about the text's definition. Conversation, rather than lecture, inspires intellectual comprehension. It engages the audience and allows different perspectives to permeate into the content of the speech. It's better! I can't tell you how much time I've spent riddling my brain for an original thought about Oedipus Rex or some anonymous poem or, most recently and most pertinently, The Brothers Karamazov. Sometimes academia can feel like a lonely path to an unknown territory - it's much better to take friends with you and hear what they have to say. That is how great ideas are formed and great change is made.

Trust me... I'm an English major.

Ivan Fyodorovich Karamazov

Apprehension

What makes me apprehensive about... wait.

What makes me delighted about public speaking is mostly temperamental. My personality is naturally adverse to the format. I'm introverted, independent, and much more comfortable writing speeches than I am speaking them.

It isn't about uncertainty for me. I feel like I've been behind the proverbial podium enough to feel confident about my role, abilities, ideas, etc. But it's still awkward. The classroom setting is generally forced. Some people are there by choice, others (such as myself) are there because the course fulfills transfer requirements and, consequently, there is a disparity of interest in the audience. I tend to pick up on that aspect - the lack of interest - and it makes me feel uneasy. Nobody wants to hear an uninteresting speech, but my personal apprehension comes from the knowledge that some people in the audience are there because they have to be, which is not really conducive with friendly, encouraging environments. Fortunately, this is not a crippling fear of mine - it's just a qualm I have with the setting. Because I understand the circumstances I feel better about my ability to see past disinterest and blank stares.

So I guess I'm not really addressing this prompt. I keep contradicting myself because I don't have many apprehensions about public speaking, which I know is easy for me to say. I did though!

Here's an anecdote: Senior year of high school I decided to run for Vice President of the National Honor Society. I had, until then, been one of the most soft spoken members of our chapter. I only wanted to run because I was applying to really great schools and I knew it would look great to put a title next to NHS. Applying was easy enough: meet the requirements, prepare a speech, and present the speech. After all of the speeches were heard, the vote would take place.

I had complete confidence in my ability. Throughout high school I was commended on my writing and my audience was exactly the type of people I felt most comfortable around - nerds. Still, the day of the speech had to come and when it did... things did not go as planned. I was one of about eight or nine other members applying for higher positions. Some of the applicants were already popular choices and were going for their second terms. I kept looking at my notes, reading and re-reading them, reassuring myself that I possessed the skills necessary to deliver this speech with some gusto. My turn came and everything became shaky. My voice, my arms, my hands, my fingers - they all trembled with nervousness. No witty euphemism could have saved me at that point, so I went through the torture and somehow everything turned out fine. People obviously noticed my nervousness, but it was almost so cliche that it wasn't cliche anymore and it was "cute." That's what I kept getting told. It was "cute" - my nervousness.

I don't know if that anecdote is helpful at all (It probably isn't) but if it's any consolation, the next time I had to speak I had no troubles whatsoever. I embraced my awkwardness and the audience responded well. I had to speak in front of 15 of my high school's most successful students once a week for an entire semester and never once did I feel anxious after that initial speech. Sometimes it's just about recognizing that no speech is going to be perfect and it is better to embrace your shortcomings than to obsess over them.

Regards,

Ivan

Introduction

Hello! I am Ivan Fyodorovich Karamazov. You might recognize my alias name - it's from one of my favorite novels, The Brothers Karamazov, written by Fyodor Dostoevsky. Of the three brothers that the novel centers around, I was most able to relate to Ivan. He was critical, scholarly, and introspective. That doesn't really describe the whole of me, but it definitely covers my at-school persona. I don't know why. School has always been a very serious place to me. I left high school with a 4.3 gpa and sought out expensive private schools so that I could surround myself with the same type of students. That didn't happen. I wasn't offered financial aid and I decided ultimately that $200,000 (Reed College: Portland, OR) in student loans was not the most sound investment that I could make.

I've had a girlfriend since high school whom I love very much. I have a cat - Darcy. Yes, she is named after the dark, ominous character in Pride and Prejudice. If you knew her, you'd understand. I read lots and lots of novels and I work at the Roseville Galleria as a supervisor at a toy store.

As far as my experience with public speaking goes... well, it's limited. I was the National Honor Society Vice President at my high school, which entailed some public speaking (Induction ceremonies, weekly meetings), but I have never particularly enjoyed speaking to crowds. I love writing speeches, but not speaking speeches. Basically, I would much prefer to be a ghost writer than the guy at the podium. I suppose that's my goal for this class: to love both elements of communication and to be able to carry them out deftly and confidently.

After hearing all of the introductions at our first meeting, I am confident that I will learn to love speaking. You guys were great and a couple of you actually made me laugh out loud, which is unprecedented.

I apologize for posting this on Sunday. I didn't mean to hold this off until the last minute, but I had to attend a wedding in San Jose. Just got back around midnight last night. I'll be one of the ones you can count on to have posts in the first couple days. I used to blog all the time throughout high school and, as you can already see, I love writing.

Cheers,

Ivan Fyodorovich Karamazov